


I (Don't) Love You

by heartstarmagick



Category: Daredevil (TV), Iron Fist (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Affection, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Emotional Abuse, Past Matt/Claire, Past Matt/Karen, Pillow Talk, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-11 23:04:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10476543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartstarmagick/pseuds/heartstarmagick
Summary: Danny and Matt often find themselves bonding over sore subjects (when they're not bonding over making each other Sore)A songfic to the tune of My Chemical Romance's 'I Don't Love You.'





	

**Author's Note:**

> I love songfics unapologetically ahaha. Iron Fist spoilers ahead! For, once again, my gooooooooorgeous Danny ♥ I hope it's everything you've been waiting for ♥
> 
> also; lyrics are copyright of My Chemical Romance, 2006 ♥

_**Well, when you go** _

_**Don’t ever think, I'll make you try to stay** _

_**And maybe when you get back** _

_**I'll be off to find another way** _

 

Talking about Matt’s exes came slowly, little by little and piece by piece. Naturally the first to come up was Claire, after some fight that left him sitting on the counter shirtless, Danny’s hands on his back. He was done healing, he was more just looking Matt over and making sure there wasn’t anything he missed. They chatted quietly, as it seemed he was okay.

“You _dated_  Claire? Was this before or after Luke?”

Matt smiled, “I haven’t dated Luke yet, Danny.”

“Ha-ha-ha.”

Matt shook his head, “Before. Dated’s also kind of a strong word for what it was. She found me in a dumpster one night, patched me up. She was the first one to ever know about me as Daredevil. I owe her my life, several times over if we’re being honest.” He shrugged, “We saw each other a few times. Some things just…aren’t meant to work out, though.”

Danny nodded.

Matt pulled back, stroking Danny’s bearded cheek, “It’s hard—for people who aren’t like us to understand why we have to do this. I can’t blame anyone for not wanting to be dragged into it though.”

Again, Danny nodded, “I get that.”

Matt smiled and leaned to press a kiss to Danny’s forehead before wrapping his legs around Danny’s waist, “Now, where were we before we got disturbed?”

Danny’s mouth went right to Matt’s neck, eyes fluttering closed as he worked to bruise that now-unmarred body of his.

 

**_Well, after all this time that you still owe_ **

**_You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know_ **

**_So take your gloves and get out_ **

**_Better get out_ **

**_While you can_ **

 

“It…didn’t work out between us.”

It didn’t feel like an appropriate time to be talking about this, but it came up. Danny and Matt were both dressed in suits, talking quietly over pre-dinner salads. Danny chewed as he considered what to say to that. Matt fell silent, waiting.

“If you don’t mind my asking…”

Matt knew what he was asking and he didn’t mind. Danny had a right to know. Swallow. “I just—I fucked it up. I lied a lot. I lied about what I do at night, I lied about Elektra.” He took a breath, setting his fork down to sip at his wine. “I think we could have recovered from that, though, if we talked it through. But Elektra…she died and that just destroyed me. Everything happened and I couldn’t deal with it.”

Silence. Mostly uncomfortable. He wouldn’t have divulged that particular facet of the story if Danny hadn’t already seen him at his worst.

Matt spoke again, “I didn’t mean to, you know, kill the vibes here. I just wanted to be upfront with you about everything because I—I’m starting to—“ he broke off, not sure how much he should admit. “I don’t want to fuck us up the way I fucked up me and Karen. Keeping secrets was step one.”

Danny nodded, catching on immediately without saying anything (because Matt would go there when it was comfortable for Matt to go there.) Danny sipped his own wine before speaking, “You’re growing. That’s good, Matt. I’m really glad that you feel comfortable enough telling me this.”

“You mean a lot to me.” He smiled. “I also know that it’s a small town when it comes to people like us, you’re bound to run into each other if you haven’t already. I’m pretty sure she’s written about you, actually.”

“Nothing but good things,” Danny smiled.

 

_**When you go** _

_**Would you even turn to say,** _

_**"I don't love you** _

_**Like I did** _

_**Yesterday."** _

 

_It was bad._

_It was bad and he had to run._

_To know that he was lied to and taken advantage of **again** \--twiceover really, but it was exponentially more than that as she was the first one he ever—_

_No, no, he couldn’t think about that right now. All he could do was get the **fuck**  out and maybe try to rebuild himself for what felt like the sixth or seventh or twelfth time now._

_In his mind, he turned to the bed and whispered an “I’m sorry” and really meant it._

Hearing Matt’s stories about his exes was soothing in a weird way. Danny had wondered after leaving if anyone could really start _fresh_  after being in love with someone; obviously it wasn’t something he’d ever been taught about much less had experience with. Matt seemed to downplay a lot of it but Danny knew that he wouldn’t even be talking about Claire or Karen if they didn’t mean something. It was assuring; Matt had fallen out of love before and still seemed able to fall again.

Whatever this was between them was slowly blossoming into more than going home with each other to ‘heal’ Matt of a few bruises (and leaving, sometimes, more bruises) or late night phone calls accompanied by rhythmically busy hands under the blankets and noises they hoped the NSA weren’t listening to. Danny was afraid of getting hurt again but Matt was starting to run at this full force and when Matt was so invested in something, it was hard not to catch it too.

 

**_Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading_ **

**_So sick and tired of all the needless beating_ **

**_But baby when they knock you_ **

**_Down and out_ **

**_Is where you ought to stay_ **

 

Danny called him and while it was late as fuck, it didn’t start with ‘I can’t sleep.’

“Can you come over?” It sounded like he was crying.

“Yeah. Yeah of course,” Matt said, hopping out of bed and pulling on some sweatpants. “I’ll be right over, okay?”

Danny thanked him. It didn’t take long for Matt to make his way to Danny’s place, letting himself in with the key the other man had given him and heading straight for the bedroom. Danny was curled up, practically heaving because he was crying so hard and Matt sat beside him, reaching for his hand.

Matt didn’t say anything. The two of them were both more fond of silence than too many empty words about everything being okay when truly everything felt like it was crashing down. After a minute or two, Danny leaned on Matt, head in his lap and Matt ran a few fingers through Danny’s hair, which helped ground him enough to start breathing deeply.

More time passed before Matt spoke up, “It was bad, wasn’t it?”

“Really bad.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Danny nodded, though he hadn’t left his place on Matt’s lap. “My parents. I mean—that’s how they all start is with the plane crash, my mom—“ He broke off to take another breath, closing his eyes and squeezing Matt’s hand. “But I mean weirdly enough that wasn’t the bad part. I feel like I’ve just seen it so many times—God, that sounds callous doesn’t it?”

“It’s okay. Everyone, you know, processes things differently.” He massaged Danny’s scalp gently. “You wanna tell me more?”

Danny nodded but took a long pause to consider his words. “Do you ever think that something, a situation, was—maybe not good, but _acceptable_. That everything was okay. And then,” he swallowed, sighing, “—and then, you get away from it. You start to miss it. Then you start _really thinking_  about it, especially if people around you are, I don’t know, treating you differently and you realize that maybe things weren’t as good as you thought they were? You thought people were being good or maybe acceptable and it turns out it was cruelty?” Tears were stinging his eyes, his voice lowered to almost a whisper, “And you don’t know how much of anything’s real anymore, like you can’t trust your own mind?”

Matt nodded, his own voice hushed. “I understand, to my full capacity _of_  understanding. I felt—feel, I guess, the same way about Stick, I even missed him when he abandoned me.” He kept on with the hand in his hair, stroking it and being gentle. “It’s not easy to recover from that. But I’m here, and I’m real, and I’m on your side to listen whenever you need me to.” He kissed Danny’s hand, “And I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

 

_**Well, after all the blood that you still owe** _

_**Another dollar's just another blow** _

_**So fix your eyes and get up** _

_**Better get up** _

_**While you can** _

_**Whoa, whoa** _

 

Danny had questions but wasn’t sure how to phrase them so they sat in silence for a while, breathing deeply as he grounded himself before he took Matt’s hand again. “You don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to.”

Matt was intrigued.

“You told me that he found you again. Stick. How did you—I don’t know, _deal_  with that?”

Matt snorted, “Not particularly well. I was angry. I lashed out, almost got myself killed. Mostly I just—I kept trying to cling to something that was never really there. It’s just hard when so few people can really understand what it’s like and as shitty as he is—“ He took a breath, shaking his head. “He was there when Elektra was dying in my bed. He and I were the only ones at her funeral.”

“I can’t imagine,” Danny said, shifting to sit up beside him. “At the same time though, I get it. I tried to go back to K’un Lun, despite everything. Even all the stuff with RandCorp felt like—looking back on it, a bad situation.” Danny shook his head, “It’s so hard when you don’t have anyone else.”

“I think that’s part of why I was trying to keep him out of harm’s way. I could’ve just let them have him. I almost think I’m stupid for not.” Silence hung thick in the air after that. “Does that make me a bad person?”

“Not at all. He caused you so much pain.”

Matt held his hand, held his Danny a little while longer before kissing his head and thanking him quietly. Danny smiled, a little more settled in his skin now, “We should get some rest. We’ve had a long day.”

Without another word, Matt kissed Danny again before stripping down to his boxer-briefs and getting into the silk-sheeted bed “I’m all yours to hold onto until we fall asleep.”

 

_**When you go** _

_**Would you even turn to say,** _

_**"I don't love you** _

_**Like I did** _

_**Yesterday."** _

 

Danny woke up first the next morning but didn’t dare move, for fear of Matt waking up from his sleep. He knew that Matt had a hard time sleeping, no matter how many times he claimed that sleeping beside Danny made it easier. He watched the other man breathe, taking careful note of how relaxed and peaceful he looked—something Danny saw rarely when those eyes were open. A smile formed on his lips as he looked at Matt’s long and dark eyelashes, the gentle dabble of stubble across his lower face, those cherry red lips (how could they even _be_  so red right now?)

He wanted to reach and trace all those features but obviously couldn’t bear the thought of waking him up. Danny looked at his hair next, then his neck—still bearing the ghosts of hickies past (with pride, always with pride.) His eyes dropped lower to his chest, his heart pulsing, more hickie-ghosts.

Then he caught Matt smiling, though he wasn’t sure if it meant he was awake until he heard, “Hey, Danny.”

“Morning, sweetheart,” he answered softly, kissing Matt’s temple.

“Were you looking at me?”

“Yeah,” came his quiet response. “This light, you look incredible.”

Something about them waking up together this morning felt profoundly more intimate than waking up after even the most salacious of nights together. It was calming in its own right, just short of scary. Matt felt like he had a bunch of energy now that he didn’t know what to do with, having slept off the more draining parts of their conversation, and Danny was feeling similarly.

A more mischievous smile ticked Matt’s lips as he got an idea on how to use some of that energy.

“Hey,” Matt said, turning so he was properly facing Danny (polite habits and all), “what’s your day looking like?”

Danny shrugged, “I don’t really have to go in until later, if you wanted to sleep a little longer.”

“I was thinking of doing something a little more exciting than sleeping.”

 

_**Well, come on, come on** _

 

Fooling around with Danny was always one of Matt’s favorite parts about sex with Danny (besides, of course, the actual sex.) There was something about the way Danny was with his hands, the way he knew how to touch and tease and tantalize until it was almost unbearable for him not to have that gorgeous lean body all over and inside him.

God, he was spoiled.

Matt leaned and kissed him deeply, hands moving all over to stroke his skin, run over all those sensitive places that made Danny choke on his gasps and grunt into their kisses. Special attention was paid to his nipples—he loved the little moans Danny let out when Matt played with the sensitive little nubs. Soon enough, he shifted his hands for something sweeter as Danny’s own hands explored. Matt’s hands paused at Danny’s hips, happily running over either side of his pelvis before giving his cock a teasing stroke.

“You want me to suck you off?” Matt knew Danny liked dirty talk, so he didn’t pull any punches.

Matt could also tell Danny was hesitating, “I actually sort of wanted to try something we’ve never done before.”

“I’m listening.”

Danny smiled, “I wanted to try riding you. I’ve just—never had anyone inside me before.”

Matt practically melted into another smile, flattered that Danny was wanting to take this step with him. “I’d love to. Let me get the lube, okay?” He kissed Danny gently, rolling over to get it from the nightstand. He kissed Danny again, first on the lips, then on the cheek. “I need to prepare you first, how do you want me to do that? Do you want to be on your back or on your side like this?” Matt wasn’t really sure where he stood on giving up that sort of control and wanted to make him as comfy as humanly possible.

“Being on my back’s gonna be easiest for you I think.” Danny smiled and flipped so he was on his back, legs spread nice and open.

Matt swallowed hard, slipping a glove on and shifting so he was between Danny’s legs. He squirted some lube on his fingers, trying to warm it up before shifting and gently running his fingers over Danny’s cute entrance, gently probing with his index finger, “God, you’re gorgeous. How’s this feeling?”

“Okay. I mean kinda—kinda weird. Not used to it being someone else.”

Matt smirked though he was careful in his movements, pausing along each step to check in. When he’d solidly worked two fingers inside, he decided to have a little (still careful) fun, stretching him and working them in and out. Then he found Danny’s prostate with one of his fingers, running over it and giving just the slightest amount of pressure, “Have you ever played with this before?”

Danny was blushing so deeply Matt could practically taste it (along with the heavy flavor of arousal clouding the room almost immediately). “N-no. I mean, I’ve touched it a little bit before when I was—when I was touching myself but it was too much to really focus on.”

As Danny spoke, Matt carefully worked a third finger in, still circling and stroking ever so gently over his prostate. He made a mental note to finger Danny in full sometime. The delicious noises and wiggles under his touch were probably enough to drive Matt over the edge without even being touched, himself. Danny was panting and still blushing as Matt worked his fingers in and out, “It feels so different when it’s someone else. Good-different. Really, ahem, really good.”

“I think step two’s gonna feel better.”

Another moment before Danny spoke up again, “I think I’m ready. I also don’t want to just—lose it before it even begins.”

Matt carefully pulled his fingers out, leaning and kissing Danny’s hip. “Take it as slow as you need, okay?” He took the glove off, handing over the condom and lube and settling on his back with a little smile.

 

_**When you go** _

_**Would you have the guts to say** _

_**"I don't love you** _

_**Like I loved you** _

_**Yesterday."** _

 

“You got this?”

“Y-yeah. Just… _fuck_  you’re bigger than I imagined.”

Matt reached, stroking his chest, “We can stop if you need.”

“No, no, I’m good. I’ll be okay. Just have to take it slow right now.”

The lawyer nodded, the hand on Danny’s chest shifting downward to wrap around his length, thumb sliding over the tip and his slit to spread his precum (and to tease.) “Matt…”

“Sometimes a little distraction helps,” he smiled.

“You’re good at taking care of me,” Danny smiled.

Matt couldn’t help a smile, his other hand reaching for Danny’s hand. “How are you doing? Is this still okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Danny said softly, “yeah, it’s going from a little awkward to definitely enjoyable.”

“Your body’s enjoyable, so _warm_.”

Danny smiled, thrusting experimentally before letting out a soft but no less passionate groan. “Matt, God, wow you’re amazing,”

Matt’s hands moved to stroke over Danny’s working hips, only gripping and thrusting back once he settled into his rhythm. To Matt’s surprise given the beginning, Danny picked up quickly on this and soon enough Matt was thrusting to match his lover, cries of both their names filling the room as they thrusted in unison. Usually their sex was frantic and intense, and while this was no less intense there was a sense of calm to it almost—like it was more parts lovemaking than _fucking_ , which of course had its place.

Things got a little more erratic however, when Matt experimented a little bit with the positioning of his length deep inside and thrusted at just the right angle to make Danny see stars.  “F-fuck, Matt, ‘m gonna cum all over you…”

(Which is how Matt knew to keep thrusting _there_ , unrelentingly).

“Danny…” Matt’s thrusts got harder but no less well-timed, despite his own orgasm impending deep within him because God _damn_  all those noises and this tight heat had been driving him there from moment one. He kept on with his deep prostate-aimed thrusts, which were clearly sending the other man into oblivion.

Before Danny could warn Matt again, he’d spilled all over the other man’s abs and chest and—ah, a little bit got very close to his mouth. Matt relaxed in absolute bliss and Danny practically collapsed on top of him, “Matt,” he murmured sweetly, “I made such a mess.”

“Shh, shh, we can clean it later.” Matt smirked, reaching and taking the bit of cum that had landed on his face and licked it off his finger.

 

_**I don't love you** _

_**Like I loved you** _

_**Yesterday** _

 

Danny insisted on cleaning Matt up, who was utterly _spent_ , before getting back into bed and cuddling close. “I wore you out before the day even started.”

“Mm, I don’t know, I think we both needed that.” He smiled lazily, keeping close—he loved curling up with Danny after sex, “Besides, we needed to make it a good first time for you. Was it good?”

“You were amazing. I’m a little sore but…it felt so _good_. Especially that last part, you really know what you’re doing.” Matt could tell that Danny was blushing and it made him smile. That was sweet.

“Is it something you’d want to do again?”

Danny nodded, running his fingers through Matt’s hair and giving his scalp little scritches. “Yeah. Definitely. I think it’ll be even better next time.” He smiled, kissing Matt’s forehead, “How about you, did you like it?”

“Oh I did. It was nice to get to touch your body and I—actually really liked you, uh, finishing all over me.” He was blushing hard too; he could feel the soft chuckle rumbling within Danny’s chest. More words were fighting their way out, “Hey, if you wanted to do something after work, I—I’m free. Going to dinner or something? Or staying in, enjoying each others’ company? Or we could do more sex if you’d rather not get into feelingsy—“

Danny leaned and kissed him, tender. “I love you. Feelingsy’s good,” he said in a hushed tone of voice. “Let’s get some take out tonight.”

His words made Matt’s heart race though he felt more settled in his skin than he had in a long time,  his own words a whisper, “I love you too.”

 

**_I don't love you_ **

**_Like I loved you_ **

**_Yesterday_ **


End file.
